10 things You Should NOT do at Your Workplace (Especially, Campus Recruits!)

Before you read this, it’s pure fiction. I am happy at my workplace.

New hires are like deer in headlights-always perplexed and dumbfounded; they are like chimpanzees in a zoo-up for public amusement; and some are like fish out of water-plainly out of their natural habitat. So here is a simple rule-book. (Open for Suggestions, as I, too, am part of the band-wagon!)

·         Do not trust anybody

Don’t even trust yourself, kill your instincts and if possible sell your soul (if sold to the devil, you will find yourself as the CEO of some big-shot firm). Remember that everyone has a secret agenda and that no one is interested in you or your story. They aint callin it business for nothin!

·         Don’t be over-friendly

It might appear at the start that everyone is so affable and warm. You will extend yourself to them, but remember you have a job to do. Don’t go out of your way and regale in a verbal puke. In the attempt of gaining more friends-you will end up all alone. But that’s not too bad anyways, considering that you are always alone in the corporate world.

·         Don’t say “I didn’t understand”

In a room of 10 people, do you think everyone understands what the boss had just briefed them about? No! Should you prove your smartness by asking a valid doubt? A bigger NO! Why? Please refer the above part of not trusting your instincts and moreover, do you really want a reputation of being the inquisitive one? So just go along with the flow-have a doughnut in the meeting and kick back and relax. When you will have to understand something the knowledge will come to you.

·         Don’t get infatuated to the people at work

In college, it was every day that you said,”She/he is so hot”. It’s not that you can’t say this in office, but it’s just that you can act upon it in office (what with all the CCTV footage!). Moreover, why waste time with something that is looked so badly down upon? Tempts you, right? The forbidden fruit theory does work that means. Just don’t get too involved as your heart and your POCKET both are at stake.

·         Don’t over eat at your office party

The whole free food-drinks thing is very lucrative, I know. But think of Big Boss/Big Brother/ Just as someone is constantly watching over the inmates, the same holds true for you at your office or at the parties. You are being monitored constantly and everything you say/do matters. But then again, if you feel that after all, you are slogging just to put a meal or two in your belly, and the free food is the best thing that could happen, then forget it all and binge happily. Burp and fart!

Suggest some don’t’s! I will put them in the next part!