This is an article of mine published in my college magazine after I left college...Well, I edited (updated)it a bit. SO I took on the onus of writing am email to God to make him a little happy. I mean after all the anarchy around us, he too needs a little cheering up now, doesn't He? Read on to find out how to write an email to the actual Boss-GOD...comment on this post, as God, too, will be reading.
Dear God,
Hi! I hope it is not inappropriate to say ‘hi’ to the
Omnipotent. But then if there are bollywood dances being performed at the Royal
Wedding, in front of the Firm, the equivalent of you in the Kingdom of the
west, then propriety needs to be redefined. You would wonder why an email?
Well, with all the clamour of worldly noises surrounding you, it has been
difficult reaching to you using the mundane methods- prayers, pujas, havans, etc. And I thought if man
could progress from wired telephony, to cell-phony (and even to plain ‘phony’,
You would agree), why could You not switch to more convenient media? You would
be wondering why I am blabbering without any rhyme or reason, as You must be
having a lot on Your agenda. Well, I have no favours to ask of You, and I don’t
say this in a manner a certain angry young man from the movie-biz said. I am
here to take care of You. I know, I know, You are the Caretaker, You don’t need
one. But in troubled times like these, where a certain old man called Anna
Hazare pulls off a Gandhi (almost a
Gandhi); where chief minister after chief minister is declared to be a
plunderer; where countries are still trying to see the light of freedom; where
discrimination on the basis of caste, creed, sex is still rampant- you sure
deserve a little entertainment. Do I promise a paisa vasool entertainer? Well, I am at least sure that you will
get your money’s worth unlike the audiences of Ra.ONE.
So here is the plan. I have surveyed a few of my friends,
foes, kith and kin, and asked them what they were happy about in the last year
or two. With this I am trying to send you positive vibes that you must be devoid of in this ‘Apple’ age, and
yeah, I aint talking about the fruit of wisdom. So please keep up. Well, let
me begin then. Something that you should know is that even in this sullen world,
there are people who are partying hard. And with people, I mean my fellow
TSECites. They partied, God, for various reasons- placements, last DJs in the
festivals, farewell and mostly Goa. You can afford to live in a paradise, we cannot
afford a 1BHK in the far off suburbs of even Navi Mumbai, but we can sure go on
a trip to paradise. Off they all went, to goa, but on different dates and did a
few devious things there, but I won’t mention them to you as they might upset
you. But just watch Dum Maaro Dum for
details. I can send you a pirated torrent link if your internet is fast enough!
Dancing, goa, partying and all must seem quite frivolous to
you, I agree. But, God, when these just about to pass out BE s were and still
are saying their parting words, you can see true friendship surface. It is
amusing to see the college jocks, who would otherwise be stoic and never
display any emotion, do an uninhibited Shabana Azmi and letting their expressive side out. The relief students had on their faces when their final journals were
certified, was a moment I hope you did not miss out on. If you did, then go on
to facebook and check out a few of IT students’ photos, theirs was a battle
worth watching. The other refreshing change was that no one played papa kehte hai bada naam during these
last few days. It has become extremely hackneyed, if you have it on your ipod,
please remove it!
It was a proud moment for the country to bring home the
World Cup. For that, we all owe you one! People were running down the streets
and were making merry as if there was no tomorrow. Sachin Tendulkar is the new
you, if you read the local dailies. Please, don’t be jealous of all the
attention he is getting. He deserves it and you know it! Although I do have a
petition to make- please give the poor journalists some sense so as to not
abbreviate Dhoni’s name as MSD, sounds more like LSD! It is very denigrating
and an unfortunate combination of alphabets to form someone’s initials.
Another thing that would please you was that this few weeks
there was no or very little of Rakhi Sawant on television. I am not
bad-mouthing Rakhi, but then it was becoming too much of her everywhere. She
had become Omnipresent and considered herself Omnipotent, I am sure. Then
again, Dolly Bhindra filled in her shoes, socks and what not, and kept us in
splits with her antics. She has inspired many a scientist to find the missing
link between apes and humans. But kudos to her, it was brave of her to come on
national television without any make-up. It sent down chills down our spines.
There were many more things that made me and people
happy-Natural ice cream’s new flavours; the sale at Vero Moda; the Galaxy tab,
I pad’s cheap cousin; the drops of rain water across my face when I first drove
my bike in Mumbai; my father’s face when I wrote a story book for him; me and
my best friend rejoicing on being part of the same company (2 of them); my neighbour when
she realised she was cured of breast cancer; and the list is endless. I hope
you did notice that happiness is found only if one sets out to find it. It is
not God-gifted (pun intended). I regaled in these small, unassuming things and
smiled everyday not worrying about the problems and tribulations that engulfed
me. Because you know it, there were many! Isn’t that what it’s all about at the
end of the day- the self-realization that no one but you yourself is the cause
of happiness or sadness. So buck up old man, and go on a vacation (Goa). The
world will rotate around its own axis without you. Forget about the corruption
scams, recessions, global-warming and rejoice in your own name. You are God and
you can do anything. If you are happy and mirthful up there, it will surely
reverberate down on us!
Love to the kids and missus!
Rohit...(surname is too big L)
PS- Where did i get your email id? Let’s just say I have my
sources! Don’t worry, I won’t publicise it!
:-P
