You are not a Mumbaikar
IF:
The Maximum City, some call it Mumbai, some call it Bombay,
some call it Bambai, and a lucky few
call it home. I, unfortunately, don’t call it that yet, however, like a million
others, I aspire to someday. THE CITY is inundated with people- people from all
walks- the rich and the poor, the beautiful and the ugly, the maalkins and the naukranis, the Mercedes-walas
and the Nano-walas. Yet, they have a thin thread that ties them
together-dreams! If you were born and brought up in this city doesn’t mean that
you are a Mumbaikar. You can’t own this sobriquet by birth or naturalization;
you can neither buy it; you HAVE to earn it. So here is the litmus test.
You are not a Mumbaikar:
1.
If you don’t know that this city is actually a
cluster of 7 fateful islands, then you should probably seek solace in the
creeks that separate them or the big, blue sea.
2.
If you haven’t travelled in the local train/BEST
bus in the past one week.
3.
If you haven’t seen a filmstar or small time TV
star yet. Actually, even if you haven’t seen one, but have concocted a story
and told at least one person, you can be condoned.
4.
If you prefer McDonald’s over Vada-Pav, it
should be reason enough for you to not only leave the city, but also the state
(as some political party might say!)
5.
If you haven’t yelled at some random person,
early in the morning, for no fault of theirs. This is a typical Mumbai morning,
where you want to start off your day with a verbal tiff, and for the
brave-hearts, it generally is a fist-fight.
6.
If you don’t know what tujhya aaila means/ or if you haven’t used it and you go for the
highly urbane curse words.
7.
If you haven’t walked on the pavement of Marine
Drive past midnight.
8.
If you don’t know which side is east and which
side is west. For example: Wadala West is on Dadar’s East and Sakinaka lies
between Andheri East and Ghatkopar West (But Powai lies nowhere, that is my
general frustration) And also, Matunga Road is on Western Line and Matunga is
on Central line.
9.
If you don’t know that Mumbai has more taxis
than NYC.
10.
If you haven’t faced space constraints. As this
is the only city were the jhuggis have 8 people sleeping in a small room which
costs more than an apartment in a decent-sized town in India.
11.
If you haven’t spent an evening by the ocean (either
alone, or snogging your girlfriend/boyfriend).
12.
If you hate the heat. I mean I agree no one likes
the sweat, but they don’t call it khoon
PASINE (sweat)ki kamai for
nothing.
13.
If you think there is something in the whole
world that you can’t get in Mumbai.
14.
If you don’t find friends here. And if that is
the case, sorry to say, chances are that you will remain alone anywhere.
Beneath tough exteriors, Mumbaikars have a soft-as-a-marshmallow heart.
15.
If you sleep dreamlessly!!! It is the city of
the restless…
And the list goes on…but the most
important of all is the never-say-die, don’t give-up attitude that keeps the
city going. The city knows how to work hard, how to party harder, how to reach
out and how to march ahead. If you want anything, out of life, I am sure this
is the place to be! (I hope so, at least!)
