The Boy-Who-Wanted-to-be-KNOWN

I have always claimed that my blog contains everything imaginative (except for my personal story -The Connection, which was well read and appreciated, thank you!). But I faced a lot of flak over the authenticity of my other posts and its resemblance to people’s real lives. I don’t know why they would think that MY world (and my blog) would revolve around them (sigh)! But neither am I denying that Art Imitates Life. So if you think my blog mentions you, sleep well thinking that you are going to be famous, (as it is not even a month old and already has 2000 reads and counting) and stop bickering!

So this was about the people who don’t want to figure on my blog (But you never did, anyway!). But then, I have a friend, who is as weird ass as I am. And he comes with this sincere request- “Can you post about me?” How could I decline! Someone, even if from a different planet altogether, thought that my blog, my HUMBLE, stupid blog was a place where he could be written about, I was going to oblige, open heartedly. Moreover, it would be very useful to shut the gossip-mongers.

Oh, what should I say about him! I am sure when he meant that I should write good things about him, but did he say that explicitly? NO! So, I am going to write nasty, yet endearing things about him. You can either love him or you can really, really HATE him, there is no middle-ground. He is loud. LOUDER than my blog; louder than pandemonium of a 1000 drum rolls; even louder than Kareena’s lipstick in Chameli (I paused for about a min or 2, imagining Kareena’s lips and more :-P). But the best part about him is that he is unapologetic about it! Tell him he is loud, he will show you that he can take it to the next level; tell him that he is crass and he will display such behavior that you will forget all the sophistication. He is a simple man-happy and always smiling, and laughing. At first when I met him, I gave him the most disdained and disgusted look that I could manage with my facial muscles. This is what normally people feel-electrocuted! But then you get used to it and stoop down to his level of mediocrity.

People always claim to be honest, kind, peaceful and content. He has no such pretense. His assurance about being “jealous of you even if you are my best friend”, ”I am not going to tip the waiter, isn’t that his job?”, ”Listen, it’s just white lies (even though the lies are so blatantly colored that even he forgets the truth)!”, ”Why should we spend 200 for that movie, if we can watch this for 60?”, ”I should get half a mark more for this answer!”. You must be thinking what a whacko he is! But then it is in such peculiarities, I find a person who is honest (at least to me), generous and vaguely content.

There are people who live ordinary lives- they go to cool restaurants; they wear branded clothes; they dance to house music; they brag about how expensive they are. But then there is he-he goes to restaurant where you get Chinese Thali; he wears branded clothes (I think if I write otherwise, his girlfriend will ditch him :-P); he goes to a club and does garba; he brags about how cheap he is!

There are people who are not even worth writing a sentence about, but such a b*****d he is that I can’t stop writing. He is a friend to behold; he is the Boy-Who-Wanted-to-be-KNOWN.

(Readers please note that you can click on the +1 google button to like it, or share with your friends. I am just trying to publicize (I know it’s cheap) because it is an assurance of some sort.)

What Sells?

I was wondering all day today (thanks to the unexpected response and I hope increases even more!) what should I do that could grab eyeballs. Had I belonged to the fairer sex (and more importantly had I been endowed graciously), it would have been a cakewalk. Had I been a charismatic marketing genius, I could have probably plagiarized something, could have made it look like mine and it would have sold like hot cakes. But the question still remained-WHAT SELLS?

Well, Neha Dhupia said “Sex and SRK”. I say “Sex, SRK and Sensationalism”. SRK might not be apt considering that he looks like an old hag these days and yet dons a spandex costume for his upcoming film.  Something still tells me that he will be around for a couple of more years thanks to his chocolate hero days.

Sex is for everyone. And yes, I do mean it. It was a thing of past to talk in hushed tones about sex. Now it is in vogue. If you are hot, if you are on top (Pun intended) then you propel yourself harder and climax with a greater success (pun intended). You see a deodorant add with has nothing to do with the fragrance but has everything to do with Sex Quotient. Everyone wants to be sexy these days. The ugliest chick and the dumbest guy too aspires to be someone’s object of lust (affection is 19^th century.)

Sensationalism is Rakhi Sawant, Sambhavana Seth, Dolly Bhindra, Mika Singh all rolled into one. They talk nonsense and do something that a normal person would shy away from doing in the confines of his living room. People love to watch others making fools out of themselves. And people deserve it-after a long day’s work you like to come home to Rakhi Sawant yelling someone to look into her eyes and not at her plunging neck line. Cleverly, Rakhi got the entire nation to look at everything except her eyes.

I hope that I will put all the 3 ingredients and dish out every post with the same jest. Good night for now. Had a very little time to write this. The challenge to write everyday is Challenging. But keep reading and be safe (yet again, pun intended :-P).