The Boy-Who-Wanted-to-be-KNOWN

I have always claimed that my blog contains everything imaginative (except for my personal story -The Connection, which was well read and appreciated, thank you!). But I faced a lot of flak over the authenticity of my other posts and its resemblance to people’s real lives. I don’t know why they would think that MY world (and my blog) would revolve around them (sigh)! But neither am I denying that Art Imitates Life. So if you think my blog mentions you, sleep well thinking that you are going to be famous, (as it is not even a month old and already has 2000 reads and counting) and stop bickering!

So this was about the people who don’t want to figure on my blog (But you never did, anyway!). But then, I have a friend, who is as weird ass as I am. And he comes with this sincere request- “Can you post about me?” How could I decline! Someone, even if from a different planet altogether, thought that my blog, my HUMBLE, stupid blog was a place where he could be written about, I was going to oblige, open heartedly. Moreover, it would be very useful to shut the gossip-mongers.

Oh, what should I say about him! I am sure when he meant that I should write good things about him, but did he say that explicitly? NO! So, I am going to write nasty, yet endearing things about him. You can either love him or you can really, really HATE him, there is no middle-ground. He is loud. LOUDER than my blog; louder than pandemonium of a 1000 drum rolls; even louder than Kareena’s lipstick in Chameli (I paused for about a min or 2, imagining Kareena’s lips and more :-P). But the best part about him is that he is unapologetic about it! Tell him he is loud, he will show you that he can take it to the next level; tell him that he is crass and he will display such behavior that you will forget all the sophistication. He is a simple man-happy and always smiling, and laughing. At first when I met him, I gave him the most disdained and disgusted look that I could manage with my facial muscles. This is what normally people feel-electrocuted! But then you get used to it and stoop down to his level of mediocrity.

People always claim to be honest, kind, peaceful and content. He has no such pretense. His assurance about being “jealous of you even if you are my best friend”, ”I am not going to tip the waiter, isn’t that his job?”, ”Listen, it’s just white lies (even though the lies are so blatantly colored that even he forgets the truth)!”, ”Why should we spend 200 for that movie, if we can watch this for 60?”, ”I should get half a mark more for this answer!”. You must be thinking what a whacko he is! But then it is in such peculiarities, I find a person who is honest (at least to me), generous and vaguely content.

There are people who live ordinary lives- they go to cool restaurants; they wear branded clothes; they dance to house music; they brag about how expensive they are. But then there is he-he goes to restaurant where you get Chinese Thali; he wears branded clothes (I think if I write otherwise, his girlfriend will ditch him :-P); he goes to a club and does garba; he brags about how cheap he is!

There are people who are not even worth writing a sentence about, but such a b*****d he is that I can’t stop writing. He is a friend to behold; he is the Boy-Who-Wanted-to-be-KNOWN.

(Readers please note that you can click on the +1 google button to like it, or share with your friends. I am just trying to publicize (I know it’s cheap) because it is an assurance of some sort.)

The Three Loveless Friends (Part 2)

One night, they sat on the seaside along the Queen’s Necklace-Marine Drive. It is something that sea does to you that you feel like sharing all that you can. So the three did too; shared until there was nothing that could be talked about. While doing so they realized that they had all loved and lost in their life. And this is what brought them the closer-the feeling of being lonely amongst friends; the feeling of being loveless.

The 1^st guy, being the charmer that he was, wanted to be in a relationship, desperately. Whether it was the raging hormones, or the need to be one amongst the lot, no one will ever know. He was in a complicated-something-more-than-friendship relationship with a girl. It was all he ever wanted- to be talking incessantly over the phone; to dreaming about her as his wife; to even dreaming about which school his kids would go to. He had figured it out, completely. But the girl was not on board. She disagreed on everything that our puppy-eyed guy ever hoped for. Disagreements turned into arguments, arguments into abuses. Whatever it was, it fell apart. The guy went through the normal break-up routine- grew his beard, slept very little (almost never), watched action films back to back, and then after much persuasion from his friends, cried a little, and finally called her a “sl**” and moved on . But incapacitated he was to the point that he knew he was done with love. He looked at the other two after narrating the above.

The girl dramatically stared at the sky and then went on with her story. She had found him- the guy that she knew was not right for her, but WAS for her. Perhaps, it was the wrongness of Mr. Wrong that attracted the rebel belle towards him. She fell head over heels for him and he ignored her. It was this quality of him that made her want him even more. Initially, he loved the attention that she poured on him, but as time passed, the guy went on to become worse than he ever was. He abused her at the slightest mistake she made. And there was a day when he made the mistake of slapping her. She, being herself, punched him right then and there. This was the first time she realized that she was a woman. And that too a strong one-one who could love unconditionally, but could bring down an entire army of baboons like him. Love had given her this scar that she still bore on her face.

It was the geek’s turn. His life was always about winning and losing. He always wanted to be a winner. And so he embarked on one such quest- that of finding love. Such was the travesty of his situation that he never was able to juggle his priorities. Maybe, he was waiting for love to find him; or maybe he was just too scared to ask any girl out with the fear of rejection-the fear of losing. Since, he was a kid, he had always had proximity issues with people-a feeling which arose out of losing his loved ones. He lost his grandmom when he was born, his grandfather when he started talking and his best friend in fateful car crash. The dog that he loved the most too was poisoned and killed by some nasty street kids. He told the 2 that this was why he never tried his luck at love again. He didn’t want to lose, again!

They were together for a year. And then they did not meet until 10 years!

To  be continued...

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The Three Loveless Friends (Part 1)

There are people who bond over food; then there are people who bond over music; but there are people who just bond. This is a tale of 3 friends who bonded on nothing in common only to discover-they after all had a common thread that tied them together. So let me introduce you to the weird trio and their not-so-docile friendship.

The first one was a black-eyed, dark skinned, narcissistic boy from the land of innocence. (At least that is what appeared at the outset.) He loved himself and this is an understatement. He was fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, but disarmingly charismatic. Everybody loved him. And that was the problem. Everybody loved him, except for that one girl he always dreamed of. No he wasn’t a testosterone driven teenager; he was a tiny man in the 2^nd standard. Yes, it was since then he was looking for love. But was love around the corner? Yes, it was. But the problem was that he was always at the wrong corner. This time, he was at the right place and at the right time.

The second one was a loud, thick skinned girl. Beautiful she was, but then as they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. She was in college and she was almost a he. Hung out with guys, wanted to play cricket; got into fist fights; and when she got to abusing, she could put a boy to shame. She would angry at the slightest and would fall in love at the slightest. It was as if the world was a slippery floor, and she was the only one in that paradise-slipping and tripping, falling in LOVE. Her dreams were big, so big that no guy had the courage to handle them (or her for that matter). But one day, things changed.

The third was a geek, the guy who spent his life in cyber space. He was funny, sharp, witty. Good for him, right? But at the same time was bespectacled, loud and annoyingly successful at whatever he did. He was the horse that ran in a derby for himself, inching towards the finishing line with a gallant pace, irrespective of where he stood in the race. Girls liked him. They LIKED him! And that was the problem in his case. No one fell in love…But then his luck was about to shine. After all luck herself is a Lady, isn’t she? And she was gonna smile bright-not only on him, but on all 3 of them.

These luckless souls hadn’t met until now! And that was for their good, and also for the good of others around them. But then destiny can be an Itch with a ‘B’. By now if you are under the impression that this is a love-triangle straight out of a bollywood movie, then you are in for a rude shock. Because, the time they met, it was obvious that they would be friends and nothing more. (But isn’t this what always happens at the start?)

When the 1^st guy met with the girl, he liked her. But then she was not for him. He wanted better (read hotter), even though he looked like a chipmunk and behaved like one too. The girl, being herself, fell in love with him. It was her habit, a pastime for her. She would meet him again and again with petty reasons. And he loved the attention.

Enter 3^rd guy. In normal circumstances, the guys should have become bitter enemies, but became the best of friends. The girl fell out of love. But weirdly enough, she didn’t fall for the 3^rd guy. She liked this feeling of not mushing over a guy. The three of them were the devil’s children! Always together and always up to pranks, but little did they know that life had played one on them! It was about to unravel. But all in good time!!!

And as always, if you liked it share it with your friends or +1 the google button or register on the blog where you can be a follwer. NO SPAM in your mailboxes. Or you can follow on Network Blog which will be directly with your facebook login. So evertime I write a blog, it will show as a notification!



(Kya) Har Ek Dost Zaroori Hota hai?

Had I been accumulating all my friends since my childhood and had been capable of maintain friendships with them with each and every one of them, my life would have resembled a crowded compartment of Mumbai Local train. Friends are important. PERIOD. How important? If you are asking this question to yourself identify which category your friend belongs to. Then formulate your own POA.

1.       The Fun type- This is the best of all kinds of friends. You will find yourself happy and enjoying every moment of your time with this friend. If you are a couple of guys, you will end up ‘line marooning’ at the nearest hot spot, and if you are a couple of gals, you will end up catching the latest chick flick in town. These type of friends are carefree and you know can count on them for having a good time.

2.       The-cry-baby type- If you haven’t encountered one such friend yet, then probably you have remained friendless for a major portion of your life. These are the cribbers. “How hot it is yaar?”,”Why do I face traffic when I have to be on time?”, ”Why has my girlfriend/boyfriend ditched me for someone hotter? (DUHHH)” They have the answers to all of their questions. But it is their goal to make sure you are involved in their life as much as possible. And it is mostly for complaining and nagging.

3.       The wanna-be-cool type- These people generally hail from small towns (Ironical, that I too am from a small town) and they will do everything that is there in the To-be-Cool rule book. From gelling their hair to using then f word as a noun, verb, adjective and I guess sometimes as a preposition too. You are aware of theirs this kind-off behavior, but then it is sometimes just pure entertaining to let them continue and be a silent spectator.

4.       The vulgar type- Oh, you need such kind of friends. They provide you with the much needed relief from the everyday stress. They crack the dirtiest of jokes and, though, you are judging, you are the one who laughs the most at them. They make everything sound dirty-from phone vibrations to the act of getting milk with dexterous ease.

5.       The nerdy type- If you are student, you will miss them the most during tests and exams. If you are working, you will need them when you realize you are devoid of the brains to execute a particular task. These people, however boring they might be, they are necessary. It is vital that you be in their “good” books, as being nerds, they might be having many (books).

6.       The 4 am type- I mean the literal ones-the ones who are always awake. On an odd day you might just be awake in the wee hours and might a need a quick fix of friendship. No rona-dhona, just plain talk. Then these are the people you will turn to. They are caffeine sipping, power-bar munching people who are as sleepless as vampires.

7.       The over-friendly type- They will leave no stone unturned to get your attention. But such friendships are very temporal in nature and don’t last in the long run. Mostly, you will be bogged down by the excessive attention you get from them or they might just become freakishly over friendly that you feel like a contestant in Big Boss/Brother.

8.       The Last Type- They are a few and they are the best. They are the ones with whom you share your deepest emotions and darkest secrets; they are the ones with whom you withhold no boundaries; they are the ones with whom you can be yourself. This type of friendship runs deep. It might not come with an expiry tag, but don’t take it for granted that it will last a lifetime. Live in the moment and hold on to them as hard as you can. If you have even one such friend, you are living a life worth-living. And if you have more than one, then what can I even say?

So, go on. Identify who fits what bill. If you dont like a particular type, then its time for you to act. Post it on the wall of your friend who is on the list and let him/her keep guessing what you think about him/her. Also, if you like it, please press +1 google button.

Simply South

Not one of my best works, but I am publishing it anyways as it is a dedication To all the South Indians with whom I shave a love-hate relationship!

There are so many things that are peculiar about South Indians. You can either hate them for that or love them for that, but can never be of a neutral opinion. I, however, have achieved the feat of swinging between both the ends of the spectrum. For some things, I have loved them and for some things I wish their ‘race’ did not exist.

Let me first be kind- the food! It’s amazing, we agree. The dosas are heavenly and the rasams are delectable. But then you don’t have to teach me to say dosai every time I say dosa or tell me the nutritional value of rasam and sambhar. You don’t have to emphasize on how it is better than most other cuisines, especially better than Punjabi food. According to them, the South Indians have bred perfect logicians and mathematicians due to their disciplined eating habits, supporting the theory that since Punjabi food mostly consists of Paneer, they end up being ‘sardars’.

What’s with the ‘MORE IS MORE’ fixation? They like their actresses plump, always having little more to them than they can handle, or for that matter, more than the viewers can handle. Be it Hema Malini, Sri Devi, or even Rekha in her former years- one thing in common other than the South Indian connection-their waist sizes. They like their men in the movies to have larger than life personas, where the protagonist cuts the bullet in 2 halves with his blade. And then they proclaim to be practical in their approach towards things. They always have a plan that they will never disclose, a hidden agenda.

For them Kerala (Yes, South India is not a big state, but consists of many other states-one being kerela) is God’s own country. Every other place in the damn world is orphaned. Carnatic music is the only music to their ears; rest all is cacophony. They don’t understand the simple rule that when you are in company of people who don’t understand “Anda mudi kotu pudi”, you should try to talk in a language called-E.N.G.L.I.S.H. Heard of it? I am not even going to try and spell H.I.N.D.I.

They might be all this and more. But then they somehow enter your life; carve a place for themselves and leave an indelible imprint. Many such people I have had. I called them names (BSI-Bloody South Indians, Kaaliyaas, Southernerds) and played pranks on them. But whenever they left, they imprinted a certain amount of South Indianess on me. They are to India, what the French are to the world. The world might hate the French, but truth is they are sophisticated, well behaved and more humane than most other nationalities. I love them. Ditto for my BSIs. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!

The Connection (Part 2)

Find out what happens to Anjali as she battles to live on.

His phone fell from his hand. Everything blurred in front of him. He was going to lose the woman he loved the most; the woman with whom he had been in a relationship for the past 18 years and more-his mother.

He dashed towards his house crying inconsolably. His cousin saw him and hoped that nothing ‘worse’ had happened since the last night. He had got a phone call from his uncle about the heart attack. But he was instructed to keep the news to himself. The boy was packing his things haphazardly. The cousin asked him to wait, but in vain. He was already angry with him for not telling him the night before all that he knew. He was scared about being too late. He hoped against hope and took the first train out.

Anjali breathed silently and gracefully. She looked at her husband with eyes that expected; the eyes that craved for her son. There was one common feeling inside that sterile hospital room-that of fear; the fear of it being the last time. But now she hoped for that last time at least as she knew it would take long for her son to reach to her.

Time was ticking away. He cried almost throughout the entire journey. He was angry with everyone-with his cousin, his father, his God. How unfair could life be? He wanted to know this. But in that moment of desperation he heard Anjali say, “You must not lose faith.” He shut his eyes, and his stoic face now held a grim expression.

The ECG monitor showed unnatural behavior. The nurses and doctors were calm, but Anjali knew this was it. She opened her eyes. He was there. He placed a small ganpati in her hand and hugged her, while she lay on the bed.

She closed her eyes and went into a deep slumber…

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4 years later:

He was talking on the phone to a friend.

 “I will have to hang up on you. I’ve got a call on wait”-he said to the caller. ”I love her more than salt”, and he hung up. It was Anjali-still vibrant and vivacious as she always was. After talking to her, he sat down on his laptop to write-

The Way I See...

Yep, he is I.

Readers, please share it with people if you liked it. Click on Google button +1 to increase its precedence on Google. It will encourage me



The Connection (Part 1)

This is about a bond that is beyond everything-it is about 2 people who are connected by love unparalleled. (It is not a love story.)

She was not unconscious, but she was dazed. She could smell the hospital stench around her. The doctors were muttering medical jargons in hushed tones. She knew she could have understood them had she not been sick. Then she questioned herself-is this an out of body experience? But then she felt pain of something pricking in her left arm. It was the IV drip-she was alive, at least as of now! Anjali was the most beautiful patient the hospital had ever had.

She knew she will be well. She had to. But then when she was wheeled out to go to bigger hospital, she saw hordes of people gathered around her, all of them teary eyed. She had always had a lot of courage. But her heart sank. Was she alright? You are scared only when you see others scared around you, especially when it is about you. That was the first time in the day, she cried. Hers was a life well lived. But she wanted to live, and everyone wanted the same. They put her in the ambulance and the siren went off!

In Gotham City, he was having a bad day. He came home early and slept through the afternoon till the evening. It was his way of avoiding troubles. He didn’t feel right. He popped some pills and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that he had borrowed from a friend. Normally, he would read endlessly, but today he was anxious. It was 10 pm when the eerie silent was broken by his cousin’s phone call. The cousin spoke with sharp modulations-shocked with every passing sentence. They agreed on turning off the lights early that day. The cousin hoped for no phone calls in the long night. The cousin had a secret that he had to tell and it was graver than Harry killing Dumbledore.

“Movie? Now? At 10 in the morning?” animatedly the boy asked over the phone. He told his cousin that he was going for a movie with a couple of his friends. The cousin was relieved. In the movie, he got a phone call. He couldn’t hear well. He came out and called back. All that he caught was

“She had a heart-attack!”

To be Continued…

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10 NEW Ways to Break-Up with Your Girlfriend...

This one is for all the guys, who have been driven into insanity by their girlfriends. But also for girls

who might be fitting the bill of the victimisers! Gone are the days of "It's not You, It's me!"

1.       Follow a strict diet of eating onions, garlic and anything that is pungent. Then whisper naughty little sweet-nothings in her ears, possibly closer to her nose. And then plant the most UN-romantic kiss in the history of romances. Keep them coming and a few days later she will break the good news herself-“I wanna break up”

(Warning-Stay away from your friends during this time or you will lose them in the bargain)

2.       Stare at a hotter girl when with her. Nothing works better than this. Even if the random girl is not that hot, you make her sound hot. Your girlfriend will question your fidelity and ultimately end up in a tearful, hurtful break-up. In this, chances are that you will be slapped and punched in the face. But do remember the ultimate goal of being a free single-guy.

3.       Don’t wish her on her birthday. Forget the anniversaries that she ‘cares’ about so much. And then on her birthday/anniversary call up someone else and wish him/her. This will prompt her to leave you then and there. But this is the most dangerous of all; she could just about castrate you. Girls, can do crazy things and it is worth risking it if yours is as crazy.

4.       Go on a vacation with your buddies and send her pictures of you-drunk, semi-nude with foreign chicks. Go to goa, preferably.

5.       Get a weird hair color, new loud clothes and behave in a way that garners a lot of attention. If she is sophisticated, she will leave you after a few days.

6.       Ask her to do things that she would not normally agree with (you know what I mean :-P). And tell her you won’t have it any other way. She will either DO THEM or she will leave you. Either way, you win.

7.       Desperate times call for desperate measures. Tell her that you are dying and you want her to find love again before you die. Life is not as unreal as ‘A Walk to Remember’. She will leave you, after a little pushing-away and nagging.

8.       Try reverse-psychology. Tell her that though things are not going well, you want to give it a shot. Fight a few days later. Tell her that you will commit suicide if she breaks-up with you. Tell her that even if she has not mentioned. She will patch up with you, fearing the suicide note. But then fight-again. This time, if she is courageous enough, she will break-up, bored of your suicide ultimatum. This is like slow-poison, sure but slow.

9.       Take her to all the expensive places that she always wanted you to take her to. Then ask her to pay every time. Let her feel the pinch. Behave like a leech. Truth of life-girls like to have fun, until it is out of someone else’s pocket. She will leave you.

10.   Stop taking her calls. Sever all communication. And then drop a mail on Facebook, or somewhere saying “Sorry, can’t be with you. I need time for myself.” Cruel, isn’t it? But C’est La Vie

PS-Girls, please don’t hate me. I will write 10 ways for you to break up…keep reading!

I Have a Dream

I know I missed a post yesterday. Trust me, it becomes a tedious thing to juggle between a 9-5 job (in my case 11-8) and a challenge that you have brought upon yourself-a blog a day. So, today, it is about Dreaming! And dreaming big! Courtesy Martin Luther King Jr.

Have you ever asked yourself the question “What am I doing here?” or “How did I reach here?”? If not, then don’t read further. This one is not for you-It is for people who have dreams, aspirations; for people who can’t wait to fly. It is not for people who are “settlers”, who just want to live through the week and party through the weekend.

Look into the mirror and try to smile. No seriously do it! Can you feel the happiness in your life? (This sounds like the tag line of an aphrodisiac, I know but put the dirty thoughts at bay.) Are you living your life a robot-where all you do is anything but LIVING. I think you will be a nuisance on the earth until you do what you are meant to. Hitler was better than you; though he was an As*****, he did things according to his agenda, according to his dream.

But why are we so helpless? We are the GenY. We should be doing anything as we are capable of doing ANYTHING. Then what’s with the parameterized thinking. Why does Steve Jobs get to do all the thinking out of the box? We need to get some balls. (I don’t how will this apply to the girl readers, but please draw an analogy) Be different. Take some time off to think about yourself, about YOU-as that’s the person who should be closest to you. Have you even met him/her yet? If not then you are wasting a lot of precious energy with every breath of yours.

Sorry for sounding preachy, but you will never be happy in doing something that you are not meant to. Imagine the life of your building watchman? Wretched, isn’t it? Compared to him, how is yours? This is some serious food for thought guys! If you haven’t found out your calling yet, that’s ok. I haven’t found it either. I am as clueless as you are. But at least try! I am striving hard, every moment, every day to find it. For people who see me every day, I am contriving even as I am having a laugh with you. And I hope one day, I end up doing what I am MADE to do; I end up living my dream because

“I HAVE A DREAM”

And If I have provoked at least one person to ponder about “Having a Dream”, my job is done. See you tomorrow!

The Eternal Love Story (Part 2)

Read on to know what happened to Ron and Lily’s fairy tale love story, on the fateful day of 9/11.

Looking into the pleasantly delirious NYC skyline, Lily thought about her future, about the life that she was going to share with Ron. She realized that she hadn’t called her parents, yet. She knew they won’t be too enthralled as they thought Lily could have done better, but nevertheless, they would be happy. Lily was structured (sometimes, boring) and did things in a particular way, was never spontaneous. Ron would always encourage her to be impulsive. Today, it was going to change. 

“What am I doing here scheduling meetings with writers? I should be with Ron. A very long drive, perhaps!”-she thought out loud.

She strolled outside the office with an unusual speed. Her office was on the 89^th floor of the WTC tower. Impatiently, she waited for the lift and it would take at least 30 minutes for her to meet with her “pumpkin”, as she lovingly called him. Was this the happiest day of her life? Maybe, she wasn’t sure. But she was sure that it would be a day she would always remember.

“Hey, guys! there is an emergency at one of the WTC towers. There’s a fire. Let’s hurry!”-yelled the captain of the NYC Fire Dept. over the loud din of the siren. Ron’s heart skipped a beat and all he could think of was Lily. He hoped it was a small fire, restricted to the lower floors. For the first time ever, he closed his eyes in solace for a second and thought of Lily’s flawless cheeks rubbing against his. He tried to call her when they were on the way. The network was jammed.

It took him 35 minutes to reach the WTC site. He couldn’t locate one of the towers. His heart sank. He thought he was dreaming. A dream-where he proposed to Lily; where he was happy; where there was hope and there were endless possibilities; but there was a 105 storey tower missing from the face of NYC! It was the South tower. He stood numb; motionless.

Suddenly, he realized Lily’s office was In the North Tower. Amidst all the commotion, he ran up the stairs to evacuate people from the building that stood aloof, and importantly, to save his future bride. And then THUD!

 In a moment, it was all gone. Everything crumbled down to ashes.

Lily heard about the attacks on the radio broadcast of the cab that she had taken. She knew that her gallant boyfriend would be there rescuing people. She rushed to the site-only to find debris; the debris of her entire life with Ron. A single tear rolled down her eye.

With that rolled a peace of parchment in the smoke that read-

Dearest Lily,

For saying Yes-“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. ”

Love for a lifetime-Pumpkin.

It was the last card, that she never got.

PS-

(Readers, please let me know if you liked it. If you did-please just take out the time to write like in the comments. It will help me do better. And as this is my 1st love story, it will encourage (or discourage) me from writing more.

An Eternal Love Story (Part 1):

I have never tried my hand at love stories, reason being-I am a cynic when it comes to love. But there is a story that you have to read if you have ever fallen in love, or you hope to. Here it goes…

It was a pleasant morning in Manhattan, NYC. With groggy eyes, she woke up to a sound of glass breaking. Ron was sitting beside her bed, with a rose in his mouth and a ring in this hand, the broken glass was that of a flute as she could see Champagne in an ice-bucket.

“Lily Jackson, I have hopelessly fallen in love with you-to the point that I managed to break the only flutes we had to drink champagne from. Will you marry a bull-in-a-china-store like me?”

Lily couldn’t say no those innocent eyes that were of an angel. He took her in his mighty arms and embraced her as there was no tomorrow. He was David-Michelangelo’s David-with perfects pecs, biceps and above all with a heart of gold in its place. Lily, was immaculately beautiful; very petite and nimble on her foot. She walked with a grace of a ballerina in the corporate world, where people strode like military men. She was a publisher-a big one. The match was a weird one, one that happens in fairy tales-the princess and the soldier. Lily was on cloud 9.

She went on to do her work, but could not keep her mind in place. Could anyone blame her? She announced it to all her colleagues. Her gal-pals were all giggly (they seemed happy) and mushy(but they envied her) and pestered her with a thousand questions of the way he proposed.

“… is how he proposed. It may not be very lavish or romantic, but for me it means the entire world to me,” declared Lily, wearing a proud smile on her face. She peered at the NYC sky line and smiled to herself.

Ron was with his firemen buds. They looked at his girlfriend’s picture and made nasty comments about the “lucky bastard”. “The son of a gun” had got himself a bride that the “jackass” never deserved. Ron was a popular kid with his firemen folk. They were happy for him (they WERE really happy) as they ordered 3 kegs of beer for the groom-to-be at 8:30 am in the morning.

Ron hoped Lily got the flowers and the note. He could not wait for the day to end. But he did not know that along with him the entire nation waited for the day to end. It was 11^th September 2001.

(TO BE CONTINUED…)

Not a girlfriend….Yet like a girlfriend!

(DISCLAIMER: This one is for GUYS only. But Girls too read it as it might help you to understand guys better.)

I am not talking about “friends with benefits”. In fact, I am talking about the other way around-having a female friend who will usurp all the happiness out of your life like your girlfriend, without the providing the “benefits” of a girlfriend. First of all, I don’t know when it all started that being friends with the opposite sex became cool. May be it was Mujhse Dosti Karoge or one of the other candy floss films that made friendship sound COOLER.

The CATCH- these girls become friends with you, become very good friends with you (in some cases your best friend) and then expect your undivided attention. You are expected to be at their beck and call 24x7. They will call you once, twice, thrice and even a zillionth time until you hang up on your boss and tell him that it’s your mother calling and pick up your lady friend’s phone. Is this Lady-like behavior?

I support women. I love women-the things they do, the way they handle so many things simultaneously. So if you think I am a pig, you are wrong! But this is to all the girls out there-Have you heard of something called “Just Relax”? It is about being quiet, giving your male friend a break and accepting that HE TOO HAS A LIFE. Enough with all the saccharine-coated friendship! It is time to get real and practical.

I am not telling that girls and guys shouldn’t be friends. Having female friends has its advantages-hey are more supportive of you, they are more honest towards you and they are not jealous of your success. But at the same time they come with LOADS of emotional baggage. Something that I have been telling myself these days-Guy buds are better-there’s less talk, more laughter (pervert jokes), no tears. Be friends with a girl only if she is… (do I even need to complete this?).

PS-Any resemblance to life is co-incidental. No strings attached!

What Sells?

I was wondering all day today (thanks to the unexpected response and I hope increases even more!) what should I do that could grab eyeballs. Had I belonged to the fairer sex (and more importantly had I been endowed graciously), it would have been a cakewalk. Had I been a charismatic marketing genius, I could have probably plagiarized something, could have made it look like mine and it would have sold like hot cakes. But the question still remained-WHAT SELLS?

Well, Neha Dhupia said “Sex and SRK”. I say “Sex, SRK and Sensationalism”. SRK might not be apt considering that he looks like an old hag these days and yet dons a spandex costume for his upcoming film.  Something still tells me that he will be around for a couple of more years thanks to his chocolate hero days.

Sex is for everyone. And yes, I do mean it. It was a thing of past to talk in hushed tones about sex. Now it is in vogue. If you are hot, if you are on top (Pun intended) then you propel yourself harder and climax with a greater success (pun intended). You see a deodorant add with has nothing to do with the fragrance but has everything to do with Sex Quotient. Everyone wants to be sexy these days. The ugliest chick and the dumbest guy too aspires to be someone’s object of lust (affection is 19^th century.)

Sensationalism is Rakhi Sawant, Sambhavana Seth, Dolly Bhindra, Mika Singh all rolled into one. They talk nonsense and do something that a normal person would shy away from doing in the confines of his living room. People love to watch others making fools out of themselves. And people deserve it-after a long day’s work you like to come home to Rakhi Sawant yelling someone to look into her eyes and not at her plunging neck line. Cleverly, Rakhi got the entire nation to look at everything except her eyes.

I hope that I will put all the 3 ingredients and dish out every post with the same jest. Good night for now. Had a very little time to write this. The challenge to write everyday is Challenging. But keep reading and be safe (yet again, pun intended :-P).

The First Post!

I had been procrastinating about the first post that would find its place on my blog for the past 10 days. I came up with a lot of topics (and really funny ones, too. Keep watching this space for them.), but then when it came to writing one-I just felt like writing this. And this is what my blog will always contain-things straight out of my heart. And this is what I will always encourage my readers (if I even manage to get any) to do- to dance to the tune of their heart beat, stop using their brains for a moment (considering intelligent human beings are the only ones interested in reading) and be SPONTANA (this was a word coined by someone in my office (yes, a gujju) and he kept using it without any apprehension, with blatant ignorance, until I gave in and started using it myself).

The point of this post is to tell you all- Don’t plan too much. I had penned down weird ass ideas to work on. But at the end of the day I am writing down each sentence without knowing what would come next. And this feels good-doing what you want to do without thinking of the repercussions. When was the last time you DID what you WANTED to without a thought of the consequences? Mine was-writing this on 8^th September 2011 at 12:36 am. Not knowing whether my blog will ever find an audience, not knowing whether I really want to be a writer, I will continue to write and that too relentlessly. At least someone, if not many, must be out there with whom I will strike a chord.

To a challenge of writing every day; to unedited posts; to people who do things to please themselves (pun NOT intended!); and finally, to an endless journey-cheers!

Without Wax,

Small Towner.